yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
