so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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