My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
