I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
