Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
