so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
