I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
