I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
