hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
