Well douche your snatch and let's go!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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