I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
