he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
