Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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