I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
