Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
