As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
