I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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