what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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