Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She is in my trunk
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
