I cockslap morals
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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