aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
