I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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