i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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