peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
