How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
