cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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