I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
