just tell him i said nine months
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We left an ass print on the piano.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
