I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
