I wannas sexs uuuuu
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
