one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
