on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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