This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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