In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
