Already got asked if we're dating
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
