1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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