Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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