Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize