this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
