this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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