I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
