Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
