Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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