check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
