Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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