found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
