Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
