He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
