strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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