I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
