Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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