she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
